Greetings and welcome to Majestic Litter dot com. We continue to participate in the Internet, at home and for free at the moment because some things work out though don’t ever count on it, buster. Things are happening:
* Holy shit, we’re having a sale in the store. Everything is $5! Tapes! Downloads! Tapes with downloads! Limited time only, probably just through November. We’re broke, you’re broke, let’s be friends. Get it while you can and help us fund the next project!
* Somebody tell Ben to finish his tape or have his dad finish the artwork or do whatever needs to happen to get this thing out to the unsuspecting world. Guys, I’ve heard the tunes and they (totally fucking) rule!
Jake Bellows released his debut solo long-player New Ocean last year. It’s starting to cross the line from medium to old news but the record’s still really (totally fucking) good. Out now on cassette in the store. Those sweet Help cassettes are back in print too because enough of you asked.
Our Fox‘s Sea Glass is available on cassette for the first time. Each is dubbed onto blue tapes here at ML HQ one-by-one in real-time while we type on and cut photos to make the inserts. Not exactly Henry Ford shit.
Red Lobster Magnifying Glass may one day finish their masterpiece Knockin’ on Kevin’s Door or their sub-masterpiece Trashville Skyline. Pathos Bill is celebrating several months of marriage and now lives within spitting distance of the Bob Hope Airport. Get in touch if you can give him a job that doesn’t involve taking out the trash. Fred Lobster continues his attempts to coerce Shazamo into performing the greatest magic trick of all time (not involving locks, sharks, fire, starvation, or mirrors), Mouthful o’ Nickels. Dr. Smooth is still officially single again, ladies. Send $0.50 to the Majestic Litter PayPal and we’ll give you his phone number. Kevin is still at the bar.
Breakfast had an idea and nobody wrote it down. Expect another show (and even less hair) in three years.
* Remember the trillion-dollar coin? And baseball in Quebec? Somebody send me a new Expos hat; mine’s filthy (update: so, so filthy).
* Invest in your dreams. Or mine.
* The Royals were so close and now we have to wait how many days until Spring Training?
* Ahem, we have our very own beer, Majestic Bitter. Brewed by Kevin from Red Lobster Magnifying Glass. Send $208 to the Majestic Litter PayPal and I’ll give you Kevin’s phone number and you can drink all the beer you want at his place in Chicago until he or his lady tell you to go home. There’s also some beer at my dad’s house. Send me $2300 and I’ll give you the alarm code and you can help yourself. Limited time offer. (Dad, just kidding. Send money though.)
* Carnitas. Always carnitas. I’m even wearing some on my pants.